"Dashing thru the mall, as one stressed out person"

     It's that time of year...where people will stampeed one another to get that "hot ticket" item. It may be the new gaming system, an Apple iPad, or that special fragranance for that "special someone". Whatever it is, your on a mission to get it. But the one person no one seems to run into or bump while they charge the store doors, are the Salvation Army Bell Ringers. You know, the ones who collect the money for the families that struggle to put roofs over their heads...So while you're charging your Visa $1,000 for a pair of cashmere gloves; there is a family who just wants any kind of gloves. So please pay it forward and place a dollar here and a dollar there in the bucket. And guess what, you can give more than once! They won't limit your contributions!
    Along with donating and giving to those less fortunate, we seem to hear from families and friends who consider themselves "the Fortunate". Admit it, we have all written the bragadocious Christmas cards and received a letter that could rival a Doctoral Dissertation. Guess what...WE DON'T CARE IF LITTLE "BAMBINO" WENT TO HOMECOMING WITH THE HEAD CHEERLEADER! I firmly believe in the the family photo card; plus why not show off how ridiculously good looking your family is? There was a show on ABC that ran for exactly one year, but within that one year there was a hilarious episode. The family would throw out the christmas cards that were letters and the photos of families or friends that were "ugly" and the photos they thought the families or friends looked good in they hung on the fireplace. Not matter who you are, that's funny! Plus I have not heard one person admit that they have too much time on their hands during the holidays; therefore the conclusion can be made that no one really has time to read that four page letter on the biography of your family.
     And finally, enjoy the Christmas movies with your family. Make your kids watch the Original Grinch because Jim Carey's version is too hokey. Christmas is chaotic...don't fight it, just embrace the craziness and remember...everything is better "on the rocks" (if you're over 21).

Movie Trailer for "Jingle All the Way"

Sit and Talk with Your Children

     After being placed in a High School, I have noticed a serious subject schools do not take lightly. School Bullying has now reached a medium which can't be controlled, but it can be monitored and prevented. Please speak with your student about what bullying may look like, how to prevent it, what they should do if they are bullied, and what they should do if they are bullying. Many kids can't escape a bully; their attacker is in the classroom, on the bus, on Facebook, on Twitter, on blogs, and on their phones. Don't rely on Teachers, Administrators, or other Students to solve this issue. Take action! Be aware that positive peer pressure can prevent a bully from attacking their victim. If one student speaks up against the bully, others will chime in and the bully will see that they are seen as uncool in front of their peers.
    Too many students have died due to being a victim of a bully. Prevention starts with education. Here is a link on school bullying.

http://www.pacer.org/bullying/?gclid=CO_nmpW9u7ICFexFMgodSVQAoQ

Sprinkled throughout Ohio

     So the Janszens are in Northern Ohio, Mid Ohio, and Southern Ohio. You can't escape us! We are like a horror movie; you can run as fast as you want but you will never out run us!
     Ben has recently joined his college Water Ski Team, which is perfect for him. Professional water sports somehow missed him. Unfortunately college got in the way of  every wake board, wake surf board, slalom ski, and tube. He jumped in a competition in Southern Ohio last weekend and made 52 feet, but this past weekend he surpassed that jump and made it 60 feet! He stuck the landing too! I would bust every bone in my body if I did that, but I am also not the Dare Devil in the family. So is Mallory...I'm 24 and pushing "Grandma Boring" status.
    Mallory seems to be full force into her senior year. Senior pictures are the hot topic in the Janszen household and it scares me that she will be living with another person in a year. God Bless her roommate because my sister makes a walk through after a Tornado look clean. She is not like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown with a a dark dust cloud surround her....she just puts everything on the floor. This drives Joe and Lisa nuts!
    Joe and Lisa are working to make sure that the roof over the Janszens stays there. Dad is selling homes and Mom is selling trips! I am worried how they will be when Mallory leaves for college. Empty Nester's....after having kids in the house for twenty-five years they get to re-kindle that spark.
     Today we celebrated my dads' mom's 80th birthday. I think after 80 years of life you should take a knee like Tebow and just chug a hard drink while thanking God you are healthy, alive, and have one classy, sexy, looking family! (The Janszen's breed well! Not to brag, but after 30 some of us, we still are ridiculously good looking. And marry good looking people!) Okay, shallow Emma needed that few seconds to brag. Grandma is slowing down but she still provides the love and laughter we all cherish. My moms' mom was able to make it out for the celebration as well and it makes me happy to see her still going strong!
     As for me, well I'm knee deep into Student Teaching and Master's Thesis writing. I know, you wish you had my life right now. I have pondered the idea of paying someone to finish my paper if I gave them a detailed outline and promised I would write the Works Cited, but that is bad karma.
   
     I hope everyone is enjoying the sneak peak of fall weather and your football team is on the winning side!
           The Janszens

"On the Pontoon..."

     Camp Janszen.....as we like to call it. Other people call it "going to the lake", but whatever you decide to call it it still means the same thing; boat and drink, swim and drink, or boat while you drink. My family has been going to this magnificent lake down in the south (which will remain nameless because I don't want to share this slice of heaven) for a little over 8 years. It is a place where cell phone signals are not invited and the moonlight is your guide at night for the boat ride home from the tikki bar. I have never seen my family so relaxed as they are at the lake. My dad gets to ski before the sun wakes up, my mom works on her tan (which she has the tanning genes in the family so she always looks like she from the Mediterranean area), my brother gets to flip and jump on the wake board, my sister works on her tan and blond highlights, and I enjoy the few seconds of time I work up the courage to get in the lake. There are so many Man-eating fish out there people it's only wise to swim for a brief second!
     We eat lunches out at marinas and whenever dinner is decided to be fixed, mom always brings home to the lake. Time is not allowed to obtrude in our camp time, so our stomachs always tell us when we need to eat a meal. It's the best! Even on the hottest nights a dinner lakeside is better than a dinner at local diner.
    Drinking...well my family doesn't get hammered beyond recognition of our own names, but we do enjoy the shenanigans we get into while drinking. Many cliff jumps, bridge jumps, balancing acts, and dock games have been a result of that hop brewed liquid goodness. Now one member of the family is not of drinking age so she competes in these events sober, which may make her the best sister ever! What sober person would agree to participating in games that make rednecks think we're rednecks!?

     It's always a great time at the lake and the family forgets about work and school which makes it all the more relaxing! Everyone should visit this lake...too bad it will be a secret!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

     When thinking about the "Back to School" season many images come to mind:
 1) The Staples commercial where the mother is dancing through the school supplies while the kids look sad while the infamous Christmas carol "Most Wonderful Time of the Year" plays in the background.
2) Billy Madisons' "Back to School" song so he can prove to his dad he's "no fool".
3) The wonderful brown bag that comes in the Sunday paper from Office Max that rewards each customer with a 20% discount on whatever they can shove and stuff in that 8in x 12in bag.
My favorite ladies where I work call it Christmas and come out every year and celebrate as if the Grey Goose company is having a "Going Out of Business" sale. Staples needs to hire them for their ads.
     In a matter of hours the Janszen household went from 4 to 5 and rapidly down to 3. My brother, Ben who has been a camp counselor for the entire summer, returned home Friday night. Enough time for Lisa to prepare a delicious Vodka pasta meal and pack his bags to be in Bowling Green by noon on Saturday. While my parent were attending to Ben and helping him set up his "Bachelor Pad", I employed my sister to help me pack for my journey back to Cincinnati for my last semester of Graduate school. My dad, mom, and sister are the remaining troops at Fort Janszen.
     I want to wish Mallory good luck, not only because it's her Senior year, but she is the Lone Ranger against the parents. Good luck to all students and parents as they see their children grown another year older with more complicated school projects and homework!

For your viewing pleasure....enjoy!

The Janszens Go to Zumba

    

     So my good friend, Hillary, has recently started teaching Zumba classes. I have attended a few and have found myself dripping in sweat and struggling to sit down (props Hill for making me hurt the next day!). My dad is somewhat of an exercise enthusiast and will try anything once. Due to Hillary's closeness with the family and impeccable bocce ball skills, Dad pushed for the family to all go together. My first thought was, “Great, I get to shake my butt and boobs and gyrate in front of Lisa and Joe... Score!" My dad, who has been praised by my old dance studio owner for his great rhythm, did better than most ladies in the place. My mom and my sister... well, I am pretty sure that halfway through they decided that if they keep dancing then that's good enough. Everyone gave it the "college try."

     Halfway through class Hillary gave a shout out to my dad for shaking his hips. While I am sure my mother enjoys her man getting a gold medal in hip shaking, I don't find it sitting too well with me. (I prefer to strongly believe the stork dropped me off in a pink blanket.) Afterwards, My dad and sister discussed the possibility of the Girls’ Lacrosse team doing a private lesson with Hillary and then enjoying a cookout following the workout. My dad is always trying to find a new workout routine for his lacrosse girls and Hillary's Zumba class will definitely qualify! I am so proud of Hillary for chasing her dreams and it was great to share in her dreams with my family. (I know I just hit the corny button and got deep on you guys!)

Here is a video for anyone who is thinking about attending a Zumba class. If you're ever in the Westerville, Ohio area attend Hillary's classes for $10/class:

      Mondays-  8:30AM Fred Astaire (Off Main St next to Rita's Ice Cream)
                        7:00PM Xenos Center (Building X)
     Wednesdays- 8:30AM Fred Astaire

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnknwEJDehA

Welcome to the Family!

    

    Okay... everyone believes that their family has the craziest and best stories. While not every family can have their family life tapped, shoot to fame, and have each child marry a celeb (golf clap for Kardashian Family), we do have our fair share of laugh out loud, cry till you pee your pants, funny moments.

    This is the blog of one average, wholesome American family. The Janszen clan is made up of Joe (Dad), Lisa (Mom), Emma (myself), Ben (brother), and Mallory (sister). We also have two dogs, and if you're a dog lover you count them as family. The following incident inspired me to share our family’s most glorified moments (although not pretty).

    Ever since the summer months have graced us with their blue skies, warm days, and cool, starry nights; my family has enjoy eating dinners on the patio. After-dinner conversation usually consists of "How was your day?”, "What's in store for tomorrow?", and "How are our friends?" Recently, during our discussion of the annual summer family vacation, my sister decided to complain about her dessert, which she has been eating for over twenty minutes.

    Earlier in the day my mom had stopped at the grocery store for dinner supplies and dog treats. “Frosty Paws” are wonderful little cups of ice cream for your beloved pooch, which my mom decided would be a cool treat for our dogs this particular night, so she bought a six pack. Are you picking up on my foreshadowing?

    Back to present discussion: Mallory starts to berate my mom about the poor choice in ice cream brand. My mom sits in her chair with a baffled expression on her face. I speak up and provide an explanation..."Mal, did you eat the ice cream that says “Frosty Paws” that is for Sox and Lexi (the puppies) to eat?" After a long, awkward pause laughter bursts out among my mother, father, and myself. Mallory sits there like the little Blue Bird from the infamous Angry Birds game app, as if when touched she will multiply into three blue birds to hit an acquired target and destroy it (targets being my mom, dad, and I). Mallory then goes back into the house to pull out the ice cream cup and read the details; she was very salty.

     Moral of the story....when purchasing, selecting, or preparing to eat ice cream, read the packaging thoroughly. Welcome to our family!